| life is hard. |
[26 Oct 2009|04:23pm] |
|
There is a silence that paces us all
It's sensitive to the peace that we've known
And if I could take that crevice in me
I'd fill it up with all that you bleed
I was walking into the water
and I was trying not to breathe
I could feel the current pulling
and I just kept in deeper
I'm sick of the pain that you're feeling
It's weighing you down
If I could erase it all within just one dive
I wrap you precious around my soul
and now I'm letting you go
as I drown these evil spirits and penetrate the obstacles
I feel the seaweed creeping up my skin
It's like a monster that's reaching for me
with the passion of life I've got left
i'm gonna use it to sacrifice myself
well, I dove down into the seaweed
Scared once before, but not anymore
As it twists and turns me away from the surface
Here's my chance of letting it go
I'm sick of the pain that I'm feelin
It's weighing me down
If I could erase it all
within just one fuckin' dive
I wrap you precious around my soul
and now I'm letting you go
as I drown these evil spirits
and penetrate the obstacles
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[20 Jul 2009|10:07pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 crappy |
] |
10 things you wish you could say to 10 different people right now (don't list names) :
1. grow the fuck up and start caring about the people in your life.
2. you need therapy, you have so much more potential than u give yourself credit for.
3. youre such a pervert and i dont know how u live with yourself.
4. lets just move away and have a different life, maybe a better life.
5. in the end im glad we dont hang out anymore.
6. we missed out on such a big part of our lives, i wish it hadnt happened because i missed you everyday.
7. i wish we could be friends again.
8. hi im erica, i dont think we've ever been truly introduced. Wanna hang out and paint sometime?
9. We should hang out sometime. what are you doing tonite?
10. I really hope you're not in love with my boyfriend because i'd like to get to know you.
Nine things about yourself:
1. I'm pretty shy and somewhat awkward around strangers, im not a good conversation starter.
2. I'm easily stressed.
3. I'd like to be a tattoo artist but am doubtful about whether i have the confidence/ability to do it.
4. I love music and often feel like a poser because i dont play an instrument.
5. There are times when I feel incredibly ugly.
6. I find myself trying to be what i think people find interesting.
7. I have a pretty bad memory for dates and names, usually involving history, i wish i didnt.
8. I feel as though I have a general shallow knowledge for just about everything.
9. There are so many things I would like to do and learn about but dont feel like i have the time.
Eight ways to win your heart:
1. be thoughtful
2. enjoy watching movies
3. have an odd sense of humor
4. enjoy making/eating food
5. be a beer connoisseur
6. be active and lazy at the right moments
7. have a great interest in music
8. be intelligent
Seven things that cross your mind a lot:
1. tattoos.
2. my dogs.
3. I hope I dont look like a boy with my new haircut.
4. food.
5. i wish i were with Daniel.
6. my lack of painting.
7. why my friends dont call me more often.
Six things you wish you never did.
1. engaged in internet dating.
2. had sex with certain people.
3. let people walk all over me.
4. tried cocaine.
5. smoked weed at my grandmother's house.
6. pierced my tongue.
Five turn offs
1. violent drunks.
2. bad teeth.
3. stoners.
4. most facial piercings.
5. obnoxious behavior.
Four turn ons
1. beautiful smile.
2. a sense of morality and honesty.
3. an eclectic taste in music.
4. having what in my opinion constitutes a good tattoo.
Three smileys that describe your life:
1. :/
2. :]
3. -_-
Two things you want to do before you die
1. goto Ireland with Daniel.
2. be the person i've always dreamed of being.
One confession:
1. I've spent most of my life hating myself, even as a child, and for the first time in my life I dont hate myself. It's a huge step for me and I just wish someone else would notice other than my mom.
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[29 Jun 2009|12:34am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 depressed |
] |
up late feeling really scared.
all the comfort has been drained
out of my life.
i thought i didnt have to worry
about my health.
i thought i was safe.
i feel like such a fool.
how do people live like this?
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| rant brought on by a young old man. |
[20 Jun 2009|07:43pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 cranky |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
AKFG |
] |
do i really have the ability to make intelligent decisions?
do we act on an underlying instinct to do certain things
and ignore others?
how have i been influenced and why do i feel inclined to
act a certain way?
DRAT.
|
|
| need of a refreshing situation |
[21 Apr 2008|09:01pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 thoughtful & a bit sick |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
sublime |
] |
im standing here in my bath towel, an awkward position.
Meditated in the shower, talking to myself,
listening to the inner workings of my body.
Before i stepped into the 30 minute steamy abode
I heard familiar calls outside my window. Although the
speakers are unknown to me, their message rings loud and
clear.
Events seem so muddy these past few days, weeks, months.
life seems to be moving too fast, and im having a hard time
finding my breath or im immersed in breath for an hour and a
half three times a week.
Finding solace in my mind, is not the greatest place for me to hide.
I linger in situations with a knot in my stomach,
but find myself excited to butterflies when these situations are
shortly following my dolldrum occupations.
pass me the laser beam.
im restless i guess you could say.
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| mexican frying pan |
[19 Mar 2008|08:02pm] |
|
so im turning 21 tomorrow.. going to las vegas!
been planning it for years but seriously for the
last 6 months.
i have a tonsil infection :[ but im still going..
im taking antibiotics so... gonna have to drink
or take them. we'll see..
hopefully it'll still be fun..but the vegas trip
i cant wait for is the big blow out for Dan in
august!
fuck yeah! cant wait :]
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|
[15 Jan 2008|12:00pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
even you- dinosaur jr. |
] |
Old elephants limp off to the hills to die; old Americans
go out to the highway and drive themselves to death
with huge cars.
makes me think of nick swardson's grandma flipping her vette.
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|
| ode to microwave |
[20 Dec 2007|10:00am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 calm |
] |
Oh dear microwave, do i really need you?
Your resonating waves suffice to heat my oatmeal,
saving me a dish or two,
saving me a minute or two,
to meander in the morning like i always do.
I know someone who does not own a microwave,
how her life seems so pure.
She does not heat in moments,
she bakes at every meal.
She does not save two minutes like speeding in a car,
maybe its because she's from washington,
and does not shave her armpits.
Microwave, are you really that important?
I could live without you.
I could bake for I now have a working oven.
How the days seem brighter,
how the food seems more wholesome,
microwave popcorn you will not give me cancer!
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| no more charlie work for me |
[04 Nov 2007|08:49pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 loved |
] |
i wish the days were longer.
every time he leaves i want the day to start over
so i can relive all the fun.
time always flies when we're together.
|
|
| ginger |
[20 Aug 2007|10:21am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 giddy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
mista bungle |
] |
man i feel great to-day :]
had such an awesome weekend!
early morning hilarious movies,
posh downtown lounges, tons of
beer and awesome people, pirate
dinner adventures; all this shared
with the love of your life.... what
more could a girl want.
yaaay birthday weekend, i cannot
wait for the next one!!
VEGAS......................
i love you baby!
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|
| Happy three year anniversary babe! |
[31 Jul 2007|09:03am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 excited |
] |
I'll bring the wine you bring the bread and cheese
It's hard to eat when you're headbanging
Makin' out in the middle of the pit
How come Slayer doesn't sing about this
If anything comes between you and me
Then heavy metal heaven, that's where we'll meet
We are Pantera fans in love
We are we are Pantera fans in love
We saw Ozzy on our first date
Our special song is Crazy Train
Makin' out in the middle of the pit
How come Slayer doesn't sing about this
If anything comes between you and me
Then heavy metal heaven, that's where we'll meet
We are Metallica fans
We are Megadeth fans
We are Manowar fans in love
We are Pantera fans in love
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|
[23 Jul 2007|08:49am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
contemplative |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
nerf herder |
] |
so i worked gay pride last nite at the zoo... and it was
awesome! i was soo jealous that i didnt buy tickets.
seriously if you're gay... you need to attend this party.
also i've come to the conclusion that gyms would not exist without
gay men.
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[02 Jul 2007|06:09pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
meh |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
interpol |
] |
I wish I could live free
Hope it's not beyond me
Settling down takes time
One day we'll live together
And life will be better
I have it here, yeah, in my mind
Baby, you know someday you'll slow
And baby, my hearts been breaking.
I gave a lot to you
I take a lot from you too
You slave a lot for me
Guess you could say I gave you my edge
But I can't pretend I don't need to defend some part of me from you
I know I've spent some time lying
You're looking all rite tonite
I think we should go
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|
| never fall in love with a girl from BYU |
[27 Jun 2007|11:26pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
STOKED |
] |
dudes.. i had the most awesome day!!!!! after a somewhat
productive painting class, Daniel and I went out on the
town.
we tried a new sushi place in the college area, Tokyo Sushi,
which was to die for. The rap music hardly phases you
because the food is so damn geud, the company was lovely
too.
after dinner we stopped by music trader. Dan got the new
tomahawk and bad brains albums [both are sick] and i got
two Nerf Herder albums to play in my car.
RADICAL!!!
after the sweet fucking finds we went to the movies to see
Live Free or Die Hard which was wicked awesome.
I dropped dan off and proceeded to drive home listening/
singing at the top of my lungs/headbanging/throwing my fist
in the air to Nerf Herder with the volume up as loud as i
could stand.
this nite was perfect, a trippindicular start to the summer.
...now if only i could figure out what to do about my job.
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| this song always seems to creep into my mind.. and remind me of myself and someone else. |
[19 Jun 2007|06:24pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 happy-go-lucky |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
.. band is implied. |
] |
Before you advertise
All the fame is implied
With no fortune unseen
Sell the rights
To your blight
Time-machine
While I'm dulled by excess
And a cynic at best
My art imitates crime
Paid for by
The allies
So invest
Now I'm finding truth is a ruin
Nauseous end that nobody is pursuing
Staring into glassy eyes
Mesmerized
There's a vintage thirst returning
But I'm sheltered by my channel-surfing
Every famine virtual
Retrovertigo
A tribute to false memories
With conviction
Cheap imitation
Is it fashion or disease?
Post-ironic
Remains a mouth to feed
Sell the rights
To your blight
And you'll eat
Now I'm finding truth is a ruin
Nauseous end that nobody is pursuing
Staring into glassy eyes
Mesmerized
See the vintage robot wearied
Then awakened by revision theories
Every famine virtual
Retrovertigo
these last few weeks.. months... year have/has been
fantastic. [john..]
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[06 Jun 2007|11:49am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 productive |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
sublime |
] |
So, I was totally planing on boogie boarding a lot this summer
but i watched a bunch of news programs last nite that scared/
disgusted me.
apparently red tide is really bad for you, it can cause upper
respiratory problems, and theres all kinds of new slime weeds
in the ocean that are very toxic, manatees in florida have been
dieing from it in great numbers. Furthermore, the ocean is being
brought back to a prehistoric level in which only crazy bacteria
and jellyfish can survive in.
boo.
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| love yooou stinker |
[03 Jun 2007|05:01pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
comfortable |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
jazz medley |
] |
my dad has taken to smoking cigars.
its awesome.
hes like a wise guy.
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